so i feel like i've seriously messed up my life. i'm a cutter i'm kind of addicted to pain killers i'm easy [apparently] i sometimes contemplate suicide i cuss i lie and i feel like there is absolutely no hope left for me as a human being. i've tried to get my life back on track, but i slip up in one of the above areas every time. i've asked forgiveness, but i'm pretty sure God doesn't hear me. i still feel the heavy burden of this major hole i've dug for myself, and its like He totally ignores me when i ask forgivness for my sin. and i dont pray half-heartedly either. i'm not all like "yeah...well...i've messed up a little...forgive me? thanks" and i'm on my way. i seriously pray...pretty much beg for forgivness. but He never gives it to me. am i doing something wrong?? does anyone have advice to help me keep my life on track???