I know what your going through. I too suffered the same deep hurting depression, not to long ago. It\'s nothing trivial, its actually, one of the reasons that I lost my faith in gods existence. It can really change your life. However, you can control,whether, it changes it for the worse or the better. Through decisions that you make, you can deal with it and even overcome it. So, don\'t lose hope, its not all over. I thought that I was approaching the end....but, I wasn\'t it was really just the beggining. The begginning of a better and happier life. I hope that you too, will come through this and look back at it as a tremendous learning experience like I did. I\'m here for any support or encouragement that you need. If you ever need anything then you can message me or whatever, I don\'t care. I hope it all works out for you.:)