This week is going to prove to be quite difficult for me. I have always been somewhat of a black sheep in my family. A majority of my family really enjoys their alcohol. While that's not necessarily something I detest, I have chosen to not drink. I'm fine when others drink around me, but things are different this week. My family always goes on a vacation to North Carolina the first week of July. I have come to dread this vacation, this year being no exception. Now that I'm seventeen my family thinks it's okay for me to start drinking. Day one has just finished and I have no way of possibly counting how many different alcoholic beverages I have been offered. While this wouldn't bother me too terribly much, something else happened tonight that pushed things over the edge. A group of five of us decided to walk up to the beach to look at the stars. We had all been hanging out for the last six hours and thought that it would be a perfect way to end the night to just relax under the stars. After we crossed the first dune my cousin asked if anyone had a lighter. I figured we would be having a bonfire on the beach. Turns out, I'm naive. Before we crossed the second I found out that the lighter wasn't for a bonfire. My cousin had pot. I know many people smoke weed, teenagers and adults, but something really struck me about this incident. I've always looked up to this particular cousin. I don't really have a brother to look up to and my dad isn't around enough to be someone I can look up to. This cousin was like the big brother that actually cared enough to listen. I had him on a pedestal. Needless to say he's been removed from the pedestal. I have two prayer requests for those of you who are praying people. First, please pray that the Lord grants me the strength to get through this week sober. While I have no desire to drink or smoke, I am somewhat fearful that the pressures from my family members are going to push me to doing something I don't want to do. I need divine strength. Second, I need to find a role model. It seems as though my role models have always fallen short. Years of not having someone I can really talk to is beginning to take its toll. I know that God is in this situation and I sincerely hope that His will is lived out through this. Where that puts me, I have yet to find. I only wish that something good comes out of this. Thank you for your time and thank you for your prayers. The Lord blesses the faithful. - Alex