I'm not so worried about the fact that you kissed your friend or vice versa, or even that you enjoyed it. Heck I'm not even going to tell you it was wrong. What's important is this: the fact that that happened does not mean it's something you have to use to define yourself. It's your choice whether this becomes a pattern of behavior or an isolated incident. To add to what Ben said, you may even be born with those tendencies, and be especially prone to that behavior. However just because it is natural does not mean that it is good or that you should "go with the flow." Having never personally dealt with this situation it would be hard for me to prescribe what you should do next. The first thing is first, of course. If you are a believer, it's vital that you stay plugged in. Be in the word daily, be at church with those who can lift you up, and be taking every thought captive to Christ. If you're seeking Him you will know what is right. If you are not a Christian... well, many of us here could tell you how you can correct that :) If you don't trust your pastor don't go to him. It sounds like you don't respect him as a spiritual leader. But I would go to someone you feel you CAN trust. Many churches have women's ministries and people who have studied counseling, psychology, etc. who might be better equipped to address your problem.