well...i just found out yesterday that i was accepted for my month long mission trip to thailand and i am SOOOOO REALLLLYYYY EXCITEDD!!! i cant even describe...somehow...through everything stressful and feeling like im doing terrible with God even though im giving him everything i can...and trying to make myself give him more...somehow things are finally starting to turn up for me. there are some things ive been praying aobut for MONTHS. like...im on the worship team w/ my youth group...and ive wanted to get mroe involved...and i think that opportunity may finally be turning up. and...ive been wanting to speak specifically @ my youth group...and my youth pastor...after we went thru it nad discussed it months ago...said to me on sunday he would like me to speak for a part of a series hes going to do. now its not till feb...but @ least i have a DATE now. so i might consider talking @ mosaic...theis...student lead youth group thing...but im not sure if the stuff i want to talk about it too heavy for people. ill have to talk to them aobut it. work up the courage and such. ehh...ill make myself thou. figure out a date and just DO it. this has all happened in like...a week and a half of each other. so ALL OF THIS is why im extremely excited. i cant wait to start up on my fund raiser projects. ive talked to some people @ my church already and made a flier of the fund raisers im thinking about...its just all so awesome. and i know its not any of MY doing. i felt like i was sliding backwards even though i was clinging on as hard as i could to God. i hope im doing what he wants me to do now though. i guess if im not he'll let me know!! well im going to bed now before my dad has a cow....heheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!