I grew up in the small town of Knights Landing. I lived a pretty sheltered life in my early years. I grew up in a non-Christian home. My father was baptized Methodist as a baby but that was as far as religion went for him. My mother was baptized Catholic as a baby and attended mass regularly with her mother growing up, but that was the extent of her religious experience.
Now I know I said I grew up in a non-Christian home, but that does not go quite far enough. It was more than that. It was actually hostile to Christians. My father always taught us to believe in God, and that is with a capitol "G". However we were never exposed to the Bible. We were taught that everyone that goes to church is a hypocrite and a liar, and not to trust them. With that kind of image instilled in me as a child, I naturally wanted nothing to do with religion.
This all lead up to the state I was in, in the sixth grade, age 11. My younger brother and I attended a school in Robbins on an interdistrict agreement. At the beginning of the third quarter of my sixth grade year, our agreement was revoked, illegally. At this point I was very depressed. Not because we were kicked out. I was like this, way before this instance. Here I was: 11 years old, depressed, empty, lonely, hating myself, and hating everyone around me. I was suicidal. That is right. I wanted to die. The only reason that I had not done anything up to that point was because God had bless me with this extreme fear of pain.
Well because of the illicit circumstances under which our agreement was revoked, my father consulted a lawyer. The Holy Spirit had to be working in this lawyer this day, because the advice he gave my father caused a life saving change in my life, and prevented him from receiving any financial benefit. He assured my father that he could win this case with out a doubt, but he suggested to my father to go home and talk it over with his family first. To make sure this is what we really wanted. To be somewhere where we are not wanted.
My father gave my brother and me the choice. I didn't want to go back but my brother did, and that was only because he had a couple of friends up there. I didn't. My father decided that it would be best for us to move on. He then had to decide where to send us. He was not going to send us to the local school in Knights Landing, because he had issues with the quality of education and the politics of the school. He found a private school in Woodland, Woodland Christian School, which he approved of. This was strictly for quality reasons. That was my father's main concern. He wanted his children to receive the best education possible. God however had a different plan in mind.
In my old self I believed in evolution. I believed that God started things and helped them develop. Which is what you would expect from a child growingup in a non-Christian home, attending public school, but on the week prior to my brother and I starting our new school, my parents had to purchase us Bibles. I remember sitting there in my mom's van and I just started reading it. The story of creation, some how, made sense to me. God was already starting to work on me.
A month after I started my new school, they were scheduled to have their sixth grade camp trip. Here was my next sign that God was working. The school welcomed me to go, and at the same price as the other kids. The school gave my parents the benefit of all the hard work the faculty and students had done all year long raising funds for this trip. The next big step was my father's authorization. This was first time he had ever let me go on a field trip this far away. This would be my first time away from home and family.
Here I was: 11 years old, with all my baggage, scared, "a stranger in a strange land", with a major head and chest cold, on my way to Hume Lake, in April. We arrived and it was beautiful. Snow was everywhere. I was in love with the place. I was ready. Over the next week of listening to the stories every night, and interacting with my Christian classmates, I started to realize that there was something missing in my life; that these people all had and I wanted it.
During their evening chapels it was explained to me what was different. They all had salvation through Christ. Christ, the son of my God, had died for their sins and mine too. He then conquered sin and death and rose three days later. Jesus Christ, son of my God had done all of this for me, so that I might be with him and his Father. They went on to explain that if I wanted salvation, all I had to do was ask Christ for forgiveness and accept his unconditional gift.
I wanted this so bad. So late one night, while lying on the cold cabin floor, I asked Christ to come in to my life and forgive my sins, and change me into the young man he wanted me to be.
From that moment on I was changed. I started reading the Bible more. I wanted to go to church and youth group. I wanted to learn more. I no longer hated myself. I realized that God made me special. I no longer wanted to commit suicide. I realized that God has a purpose for my life, and he will take me home when it is done. I felt a sense of completeness. I felt loved. That's not to say that my battle with