OKAY THIS PART IS IN ALL CAPS SO THAT YOU CAN READ IT SEPERATE FROM THE ACTUAL STORY. THIS IS A FAIRYTALE I WROTE FOR A CLASS ASSIGNMENT. NO, THERE WAS NOT A STORY BEFORE THIS. I CHOSE 'RETURN' BECAUSE THAT'S JUST HOW IT CAME OUT. HERE WE GO. Once upon a time in the magical land of Spoof, there lived a beautiful princess, ruler of Caricature. One day, she disappeared, and her townspeople were terrified! What had happened to their gorgeous princess? One young child spoke up and said that he’d seen the evil Gorx carry her away. “The Gorx! Oh no!” The people cried. The Gorx were horrible creatures, part human and part…. something else. “Whatever shall we do?” “I’ll go save the princess!” said a dusty young man from the back of the crowd. He was an average youth with nothing remarkable about him but the sword around his waist and the scar on his cheek. He had black hair of no particular interest, his nose was crooked, his eyes were a flat brown, and he was simply too tall. He looked about as much a hero as a stable boy…. But for his sword….. “What can you do to help? Stab the Gorx? There are thousands of them, and besides, you don’t even look like you could wield a stick, much less that weapon!” A rather loud, rude man shouted back at him. Little did he know that he had insulted Swordflash, the wandering hero from across Spoof. Swordflash was renowned in all the land. He had fought off the dreaded Uvula blobs of Rentax and gained the Blade of Nil, the magic sword hanging from his belt. He turned to the man and said, as diplomatically as he could, “Shut up you idiot. I don’t see you volunteering to the job.” The man had no answer and so off Swordflash went, to the Cave of the Gorx. A few days later (Time travels fast in the land of Spoof) , Swordflash had made it to the Cave. He pressed himself against the wall just outside of the opening, making certain he wasn’t about to be ambushed. [i]No Gorx about, so in I go,[/i] he thought. And in he went, feeling his way along the dim passageway. He heard a noise from somewhere up ahead and froze against the side of the cave. A dark shape passed beside him. He waited until the sounds died away before he breathed again and continued on. [i]Well, that was certainly close. Let’s hope they’re all that blind.[/i] He was now in a chamber lighted by a single torch. He could see again, but the chamber had three exits. [i]Dang. Now which way? Only one way to decide…. [/i]Swordflash closed his eyes and pointed at each of the openings. “Eenie meenie minee MOE!” And Swordflash entered Moe…. But not for long. Gorx guards came piling into the tunnel in front and behind him. “Ah crap. It’s never Moe! You idiot!” He berated himself as he drew his sword. He unfortunately didn’t get a chance to wield it before the Gorx dog-piled upon him. Well shoot… So much for this little venture, he thought just before he was hit on the back of the head. “—And that’s another thing! How long are you gonna keep me here? I run a country! I am a princess! You people will be in so much trouble once I get my hands free! Hey, who’s that person? Is he okay?” No I’m not okay! I just had my brains bashed out! Swordflash thought groggily. To his dismay, he let out a small moan as he came to. “Owww….,” Swordflash tried to stand up, only to find that his hands were tied. He lost his balance and fell. “Ssso…. Thisss iss the great hero Ssswordflash,” a snake-like voice hissed from somewhere to his left. A woman appeared, as if melting from this shadow and stone. Her skin was gray and rough like the rock behind. Like her Gorx guards, there was a tail where her legs where supposed to be. “Sssome hero. Didn’t even make it passst our defenssse sssentry.” [i]Defense sentry??? [/i]Swordflash rolled his eyes, then stopped because the motion sent sparks of pain through his skull. [i]What defense sentry? [/i] [b][i]The ‘blind’ Gorx that brushed you in the first passageway, stupid[/i][/b], the words whispered in his brain. [i]Ah. Nil, you’ve been awfully quite. I see you haven’t lost your sense of humor,[/i] Swordflash thought back. (Hey, we said it was a magic sword!) [b][i]What does a sword have need of a sense of humor? Now pay attention. The queen is watching,[/i][/b] Nil ‘said’ sharply. [i]Right. Who doesn’t love listening to the voice of a lizard-lady.[/i] “Hey! Who’s been messing around with my title? I am the Wandering Hero, not the Great one!” Swordflash exclaimed, causing the queen and princess both to jump. “Ssso, the defeated hasss a tongue,” The queen Gorx whispered. “We are Kilvanya, queen of the Gorx. You and this one have been caught trespassing in our domain. We mussst find a way to deal with you.” “Well, you could just let us go with a warning,” Swordflash flashed a grin at the queen, but it died early, withering in the glare of Kilvanya. [i][b]Do you ever shut up?[/b][/i] Nil interjected. [i]Not really. Just bear with me. I’ve got a plan[/i] [b][i]You do not.[/i][/b] [i]Shhh! I’ve got to concentrate![/i] “Sssilence! We mussst deal with you ssseverly ssso that othersss may know our power!” Kilvanya yelled. “Guardsss! Take them to the dungeounsss! We will deal with them later!” The burly snake-men grabbed our hero and the princes and shoved them through a hole in the wall, leading down on to a chute which dumped them into a small, dank room. “Great, and I thought we couldn’t get any deeper,” Swordflash muttered. “You’re still pretty new to the whole hero business, aren’t you?” The princess stated. “No! I mean… yes… I mean… so? At least I volunteered! Your townspeople were just sitting in townsquare moping,” Swordflash stammered. “Of course. They’re townspeople. They’re supposed to be pathetic,” The princess sounded like a teacher explaining something to a particularly stupid child. “Now, how do we get out of here?” “Uh… We wait until they come and get us, then jump them,” Swordflash suggested. “Ooh, good plan, except for the fact that our hands are tied,” The princess pointed out. [b][i]I like this girl. Good head on her shoulders.[/i][/b] Nil was approving. [i]Shut up. I would’ve thought of that…. Eventually…[/i] [b][i]Right. [/i][/b]Nil was sarcastic…. If swords could be sarcastic, that is. [b][i]Just listen to her. She might have a few suggestions. She has been here a while. [/i][/b] Swordflash bit back a retort and spoke to the princess. “Alright, our hands are tied. So what? The Gorx aren’t exactly the sharpest daggers in the set. I mean, look! They didn’t even take my sword away from me!” He grinned. “So? How are you going to use it with your hands tied behind your back?” The princess wanted to know. “Look, Princess—“ Swordflash started. “Rena,” she interrupted. “—Rena, that’s perfectly simple. We untie each other’s hands and THEN we jump the Gorx and get out of this joint.” “You know,” Rena mused, “you may not be as thickskulled as I thought. That could work.” “Glad to hear it. Hurry up before Kilvanya and crew come back with whatever they plan to do with us,” Swordflash said. Rena and Swordflash scooted their backs together and began to work furiously at untying each other’s bonds. No sooner had they pulled the ropes off their aching wrists did Queen Kilvanya burst in with a mass of Gorx behind her. Swordflash and Rena quickly put their hands behind their backs. “We have desssided. You will be thrown from the highest peak of our mountain,” Kilvanya hissed triumphantly. “Really? A freefall? Gee, we’d love to stay for that, but I’m afraid that we’ve a previous engagement,” Swordflash said smiling as he whipped Nil out of its scabbard. “Now then, do we have to go through you, or are you going to start being nice and just let us go?” Kilvanya’s eyes widened in rage. “FOOLS! GUARDS, GET THEM!” She howled. “Stay behind me, Rena!” Swordflash shouted as the first of Gorx rushed toward them. “Are you serious?” Rena objected, drawing a dagger from the folds of her dress. She threw herself onto a Gorx, effectively killing it. “Okay, don’t stay back then,” Swordflash said admiringly. He twisted his sword up, down, then back, sweeping the Gorx blocking the doorway away. “Come on, Rena! Let’s get out of here!” Swordflash and Rena plowed through Gorx all the way to the mouth of the Cave. Kilvanya had gotten there ahead of them and was blocking the entrance. “You shhall not passsss!” She cried. “Of course we will,” Swordflash gave her another grin as he ran her through. “Now that’s done. Shall we return you back to your townspeople, then?” He asked Rena. “No.” “No? Uh… your people are kinda worried about you, you know…” Swordflash stared at the princess. “No. I don’t want to return. Do you have any idea what it’s like having to be the beautiful princess of a profitable kingdom? Ugh! Everyone is watching everything you do, and they have a million critiques.” Rena turned and started to walk down the path leading away from Caricature. “I’d rather claw my eyes out then go back there.” “So you’re going to set off by yourself.” Swordflash raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Oh, like you’re going to come with me?” Rena whirled around to glare at him. [b][i]Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.[/i][/b] Nil put forth. [i]Really? How so?[/i] Well, you do need to stop gallivanting around by yourself, and she could provide a pretty good back-up. Besides, I like her, and there aren’t many people I like these days. Nil said pointedly. “Well, I could come with you,” Swordflash made a quick decision. “If only to protect you.” “Protect me? Whatever eases your ego.” Rena started back down the road, but stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Well, are you coming?” Swordflash grinned once more and walked down the road with her. We wish we could end with the classic “And they lived happily ever after. The end,” but this is not the end. This is merely the beginning of a new chapter in our young hero’s life.

O_O He gave me a 100.... Mr. Fierce NEVER gives 100s. YESSSSSSSS! *fist pump*