I'll be trying to move out of my mother's house soon when I get financially stable. My mom's rules have started to become unbearable and unnecessary. I have a 6 pm curfew because my mom thinks I would be out partying (I never party, I never found use for parties) She doesn't like my fiance for unknown reasons that she won't tell me. And every time I mention moving out, she says she's fine with it, but it's followed by "Just abandon me like all the others did." She's actually my great-grandmother, she adopted me. The reason why I think the rules are unnecessary is 1) I'm a adult (20 years old) and can make my own decisions. 2)I've never broken her rules ever. 3)My decisions have always been responsible ones. 4)Out of all her children, I've been the most behaved (according to her) I've tried talking to her about these rules and tried to comprise, but she becomes angry with me and says I'm lucky and have it made. I've tried sucking it up and smiling, which just leads to more stress. I've tried tuning her out(when I was a teen) which was an even worse idea. I can't seem to please her because she becomes upset. For example, she told me to get a job, which I've been trying to do. However, when I mention one, she complains about it. I can't say that I'm an adult and can make my own decisions because I'll be kicked out. I can think of a few reason why she's like this 1) stress from her husband dying 2 years ago (which I've been supportive) 2) her other children 3)how she was raised And yes, before you say, I know that she knows what's best for me, but I'm not staying out all night/drinking/smoking/doing drugs so I just think these rules are unnecessary. So I ask how to deal with this problem until I move out?

This is a tough problem. I'll keep thinking about the solution :) One thing though- If she's your great grandmother, she definitely grew up in a different time. I'm sure you understand that. I understand her "Abandon me like all the others did." I can see where she's coming from, having lost her husband, and with other family members moved out and moved on, I can see how she wants someone to stay. Perhaps there's a way to convince her that YOU need to move on with your life to, and not physically living with her certainly doesn't mean you're abandoning her. She needs to understand that as well. Much, much easier said than done. Think about it. I'll be prayin :)

Did I mention I'm 20? How is a 6 o clock curfew best for me? I'm not the kind of person who gets drunk or hangs out a parties. In fact I dislike them and think they are a waste of time. So how is a 6 pm curfew best for me? Another thing, she fusses at me about getting a job. When I fill out an application some where, she has at least on problem with every single job I go to. These are places like wal-mart, mcdonald's, and even a factory where they ship medicinal supplies. Then after I don't bother because of her complaints, she then fusses at me to go to those same places that she complained about and get a job there. The first time I actually got an interview, they said I would have to work night shift. I didn't have any problem with this since it was in a good neighborhood and not too far from my house. But my mom did. Now she complains that I should work there. So again, I ask how is this best for me?

Well parents can be very strict sometimes...but i have learned tat when they start acting like this u just do wat they say n when u get invited to go do somethin where u would be out later than she would like then she would be more likely to say yes becuz u have been doin so well n just pray bout it also

In my opinion, just make sure that you keep in mind all of her feelings. I am not saying that you aren't; I know you are, but continue to do so. Try to convince her that you need to keep moving forward in your life and she can move forward in hers as well. Remind her that you will always stay in contact with her no matter what happens or where you will eventually end up moving