GW Tolley

As a child, I was always dragged to church. I vowed when I was older that I would never go to church again. I did not go for 20 years. I was the very angry, drunk, and mean Prodigal Son. You would have never heard me speak of God. I believed He was there, but I would not have a conversation about Him. We all have a choice. 

The storm of my life had begun, and I did not know until it was too late. The unstoppable chain of events started with identity theft in June 2009. This led to my home being foreclosed on Christmas Eve and later padlocked. God said, “my house was built on the sand.”

Excessive partying with fair-weather friends I went down a lot of bad roads. My house of sand collapsed and 98% of my possessions were donated to a charity. I was homeless and then laid off. Out of desperation, I placed an ad on Craigslist for a place to live. I ended up living with a family of nine.

Some nights I had no food. I would microwave water to fill my stomach so that it had something warm in it so I could go to seep. I ate oatmeal for two years and finally, I dropped my pride and went to a food bank. What is ironic is that I volunteer at a food bank. I was too prideful and ashamed, and they quickly said, “Raise Your Head UP!”  They shared they started as a client and now volunteered, no shame here!

The most overwhelming challenge was losing my Mom. She died four times, and on two occasions she was gone for over 30 minutes but came back to life! There is power in prayer and miracles happen every day.

A major turning point in my life was when I fell asleep while driving and I was headed into a transformer pole and a man called and woke me up and he said, “God had told me that you were in danger and to call you. Your divine life purpose is much needed in the world. I have to stay on the phone with you until you’re parked.”

I had to change my “Whys” into “I Trust You.” I had to stop whining and being a Jeremiah. I had to stop saying “please take away these burdens.” Instead, I had to pray for faith, broader shoulders, strength, and seeing others as God’s children and not judging. I also had to learn to forgive. Giving situations to God, I started watching my words. A few words of kindness can change a person’s day or life. This process was all about learning to be Christ-like, selfless, and having unshakeable faith, hope, and love. Listening to God and being obedient.

God has given me the strength and the courage to take one step at a time. Through this 10- year process He made a way, on His time, and His special way.

My trials have become my testimonies and giving God all the praise and glory. My life has been restored and blessed and God made His Masterpiece out of my mess.

God has revealed my Kingdom PURPOSE and I would have never in a million years guessed it, or even thought about sharing or speaking about His FORGIVENESS and GRACE.

But here I am, I have stopped fighting my calling. Don’t be a Jonah (Jonah 1-4), and don’t be a GW and run for 20 plus year and take a 10 year learning process. Just don’t is all I can say, it is painful, just embrace God’s LOVE and His MERCY. I share my stories through my trials, tribulations and testimonies. I want people to see Him, not me and to God be ALL the Praise and Glory.

Some people have said, “We see that GW found Jesus.”

However, the truth is Jesus found me!

Every day I thank Him for pursuing me.

I was that one lost sheep.

Lost and Found!

Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep. I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. Luke 15: 1-7 

When and Where You Least Expect Me, I will be there. 

What does Hearing Loss, Purpose, don't be a Jonah and a Lost Sheep all have in common? Let's see, read on.... A recent situation involving my hearing was an unnerving reminder of how precious our hearing is and brought back a flood of emotions. I am fine, but the scars are always there. Wear your scars with pride, I do. We can not have a testimony without a test. I had ear issues from birth and that went on till my second year of high school. I was constantly at the doctor and the medicine tasted really nasty. When the medicine ran out the issues would come right back and sometimes worse than before. When I was younger, they had removed my tonsils to see if this would correct the issue, it did not. Not only did I have a hard time hearing, but my last name starts with a T so normally my seat was in the back of the room at school. Not able to hear, I would get bored and I would doodle, and my mind would wander all over the place. For me to receive a grade of a D+ or even a C- was a major accomplishment for me. My mom would work with me with flash cards. My mom would say, “You are smart, and you can do anything you put your mind to. There is always a way around, over, or under every situation and sometimes you have to just go through it.” My momma was loving, kind, intelligent, and business savvy. But if you messed with her family or her children. Well, that is another story. One day my mom noticed I had the TV up really loud. It was full volume, and there was not another notch to turn it up. She took me back to the doctor and she told the doctor, “Send him to a specialist. He cannot hear.” I was sent to an ear, nose, and throat specialist, and I had 95% hearing loss in one of my ears. I had surgery and tubes to correct the issue. My situation was so bad they did the surgery right then and there. They brought in a machine that was like a big vacuum cleaner. There was a big needle and he said, “I am going to bust your eardrum and you will hear a strange noise. We will vacuum out the liquid.” The liquid was almost black. As they almost finished the noise was really loud and almost unbearable. They could not numb my ear and I just had to be a big boy and tough it out. My mom was right there with me. She said, “Be strong, I am right here with you.” I did well and she wiped the one and only tear from my eye. All of this taught me to keep on moving forward and be an overcomer. “Reach for the Stars but remember to keep your feet on the ground.” SO… with all of that being said, if anyone had said I would write a book or even 13 books I would have laughed at them and said NO NOT ME. You have mistaken, you have the wrong guy, English, Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation that is not me. Thank you God and thank you for my editor. I do tell it like it is and sometimes just the plain Raw Truth. Occasionally, that is hard for people to handle, but it is what it is. When you have a story that is going to get out of you if you like it or not and it feels like you are going to explode you have to get it out of your system. Release it and get it out. That is what happened to me, the stories had to come out, the pain, the hurt, the shame, the tears of sorrow and joy. Write even when it is uncomfortable because one of the best ways to heal is getting it out. People are going to talk about you no matter what you do. You can not control what they say, situations, or what is happening, but you can control how you respond or don’t respond at all. When you do that you are in control of yourself and that is powerful. NEVER let people, where you came from or your circumstance dictate who you are and where you are going! You have a Purpose, I have a Purpose, We all have a Kingdom Purpose.

May Day Mix UP

This is a day mixed up in May, but it was also a Mayday, and I just did not know what was to come.  

Mayday is a distress call that is used to signal a life-threatening emergency, usually on a ship or a plane, although it may be used in a variety of other situations. The distress call has absolute priority over all other transmissions.

I thought I was so brave. I had made it through the day, and that day was my mom’s birthday. This was her 7th birthday in heaven. I had happy moments and then sad missing her moments. I woke up and God said, “I want you to go to the church service you were invited to.” So, what did I do? I turned on my phone to watch the service online like I had done 3 weeks prior. Since COVID-19 almost everything is online. But, God said, “I did not tell you to watch it online. I said for you to go in person.” The location is 28 miles (35 minutes) away and this involved rolling out of bed, getting ready, multiple toll roads, and I was just being lazy. But, God said, “GO! GO!” As I start to leave I fill up my water bottle with the cold water from the refrigerator and I happened to see the date. It was the 15th of May, but I had thought the 15th was the day prior. WOW, I felt like I did not want to go at this point. But God said Go, and I GO! 

I arrive and I ask where my friend is, and they take me to him. He was in a conversation with a lady, and his eyes lit up when he saw me. He said, “I am so glad you came.” He said he was teaching a class, but told me what room to go to. As I am sitting there I start to think about all the prayers my family had prayed for me, and all the years they had prayed. Then it hits me. My mom is in heaven and her unanswered prayers are still being answered, and I am sitting in the house of the Lord. It was like a wave of emotions, BOOM. I was not running away from all of this. Once the first tear started it was not long before the tears crashed through the flood gates. I tried to hold them back, but the talk started… be brave, don’t cry, guys do not cry, and especially in public. You are new here, suck it up buttercup, what are the people around you going to think? It is too late, it started. I tried to hide it, but there was a lady walking by to give her friend a hug in front of me, and as she was hugging her she saw the tears. She instantly grabbed me and started to pray. When she finished I said, “Thank you, today is my mom’s birthday and she is in heaven.” She told me that her husband had passed away 3 years prior. Now she is crying. Meanwhile, the service is going on and everyone is still standing and singing. I had hoped no one had seen all of that, but I knew it had stirred up some commotion. The lady goes and sits down on the other side of the section. Toward the end of the service they said, “We are having prayer for whomever needs prayer. Come up here now.” God said, “Go.” So I went. The man starts to pray and he starts to pray for all my family… WOW… that grabbed my heart and gave me a shake and I started to cry again. I am not sure what else he prayed but I am sure it was needed. Only God!

They invited me to stay and eat with them, and I did and they invited me back. WOW.. they had really welcomed and warmly embraced me. I have never felt honest true Love like that.

So, I went back the next week and I took the lady a card that had prayed with me and for me. Just a kind gesture of thanks. I really meant it from my heart, that was so kind of her. In a world of people not engaging, onlookers, and sometimes not even making eye contact, she jumped right in, a True Servant's Heart. She helped more than she will even know with her prayer and her hug. There were a few other people around me and I was not sure they had seen what was going on, but when I saw them I explained what had happened the week prior. I also shared a little of my testimony with them and then they shared theirs with me. What a wonderful feeling having CONVERSATIONS about what God is doing and has done in our lives. Share your stories and testimonies with each other. It might not only inspire others, but build up your faith. We are not victims, we are victors. With God for us, who can be against us? What started out feeling like an awkward moment to me, God created personal bonds. Hurt and Healings sometimes go hand in hand. It always amazes me how God works and sometimes so fast. Divine connections and on God’s Timing. 

There are many awesome wonderful points to all of this, but the one I wanted to share is all the prayers that were prayed for years that are still being answered from my family that is not even here on this earth to see them being answered. BUT I am sure they are celebrating in heaven and saying come on, you got this. My mom said, “That’s my son!” SO, do not think that all of the prayers people have prayed for you are not being answered, I am proof of that.