Jaime Gerholdt

So today was Brad's first day at his daycare. I never thought it would be that hard. After spending everyday with him for the past 2 years, i feel so guilty. He's my baby. I should be watching him. I cried all the way to work. I had to sit in the parking lot at work and try and wipe my eyes and put makeup on to hide my red eyes. He's been on my mind all day. Before my mom has been watching him, which was nice. I knew he was ok with her. I feel confidant in his sitter now, but i just can't help myself. My poor baby can't spend his day with his mom. I hope this feeling stops, b/c it really sucks. I start thinking about him and I get tears in my eyes. I hate being away from him.....

Most of my life has been pretty easy. I had a great childhood, my parents are awesome, still to this day they are. Getting into Jr High was hard. I only had a few friends left b/c a few moved away. Getting into HS wasn't as bad. I found a great group of friends, but then later they got into things i didn't want to try. Long story short... I'm not freinds with them anymore, haven't even talked to them in years. Since HS, I met a great guy, we have a 2 year old together and we're getting married. But since I became pregnant, life has been very hard. I got fired from my job then... no one wanted to hire me b/c i was pregnant. I had a hard prenancy. I had apedicitis plus my son didn't want to come out. I had to have a c-section. I started having anxity attacks after having bradley, my son. Then as he got older, i started to lose friends. I didn't have the time to talk to them or hangout. Plus, the father and I had some problems, but things are ok with us now. I never thought having a child would be mentally hard. I haven't been able to get off the weight from him either. I just wish i can get things in my life back to where they used to be and move on. I need to clean myself up and raise my head high again. It's been hard b/c i used to let people walk all over me. I need to show that i'm a real person, and I demand respect. I guess it's one small step at a time. God be with me on this time of trouble. Wish me Luck Everyone!!