Hannah Pollock

U OPENED THIS BECAUSE IT SAID ZAC EFRON DIED???? DIDNT U WOULD U HAVE OPENED THIS IF IT SAID I LUVE GOD NO MATTER WHAT REPOST THIS IN 5 MIN IF U TRULYLOVE GOD MIRACLE WILL HAPPEN TONIGHT

                                PS DONT IGNORE GOD HES ALWAYS WATCHING

Since you opened this. You`ll get kissed by the love of your life on Friday. Unless you break this chain, then you won`t get kissed on Friday. Read this first...

dude: I love her more than the air I breath
chick: well im always here for you.
dude: I know.
chick: What's wrong?
dude: I like her so much.
chick: Talk to her.
dude: I don't know. She won't ever like me.
chick: Don't say that. You're amazing.
dude: I just want her to know how I feel.
chick: Then tell her.
dude: She won't like me.
chick: How do you know that?
dude: I can just tell.
chick: Well just tell her.
dude: What should I say?
chick: Tell her how much you like her.
dude: I tell her that daily.
chick: what do you mean?
dude: I'm always with her. I love her.
chick: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me.
dude: Wait. Who do you like?
chick: Oh some boy.
dude: Oh... she won't like me either.
chick: She does.
dude: How do you know?
chick: Because, who wouldn't like you?
dude: You.
chick: You're wrong, I love you.
dude: I love you too.
chick: So are you going to talk to her?
dude: I just did.



Ignore this, and you`ll be cursed with 20 years of bad relationships.


chicks- If you think this is sweet, repost it.
dudes- If you are man enough to say this to a chick, repost it.

We celebrate Fourth of July with three words that start with the letter F: flags, fireworks and food. (It used to be five words, but floss and forklifts got voted off for not being as fun.)

Traditional food includes a barbeque. Historians believe guys invented the barbeque.

Pete: I've got an idea. Let's take these plates of meat and beans-and go outside!

Daniel: We can even cook the meat outside!

George: Better yet, let us combine the meat and beans together!

Pete: Don't tell the girls-or they'll bring coleslaw or fruit!

Guys made the first fireworks, too, but early ones were primitive.

Loc: Wonder what happen when Loc throws fire on pile of black powder?

Thor: Throw fire and see!

[AMAZINGLY LOUD BOOM]

Loc: Loc missing nose now.

Thor: Thor's knees on fire-and hair gone.

Loc: Let's do it again!

These early experiments proved two things: Knees are flammable, and guys like things that explode. Most won't be excited if you yell, "I have the prettiest sparklers!" But you'll get their attention with, "My dad has these firecrackers that can launch a moose over the state line!"

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This article appeared in Brio & Beyond magazine in July 2007. Copyright © 2007 Patrick Dunn. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

Birthday Blunders
Besides America's birthday, my wife, Sally's, birthday is also in July. It's tough sometimes to figure out how to celebrate, because guys and girls deal with birthdays very differently.

When I was a kid, the girls' birthdays were about big parties with pink anything hung up. In high school they threw giant slumber parties with all their friends and tons of activities. And guys? We had slumber parties, too. We sort of hung out and had cake, but it was dark outside. And we had fireworks in the form of body noises coming from sleeping bags.

The girls gave out colorful party invitations. Trust me, if a guy gives out invitations, his mom made him do it. And gifts? Forget wrapping paper and bows-it's hard enough for a guy to figure out what to give another guy. When I was a kid my family was poor, so I had to be creative.

Me: Uh, happy birthday, Sean.

Sean: You're giving me a pile of rocks?

Me: These are actually miniature asteroids. They landed from space-a whole planet actually 'sploded!

Eventually, I apologized to Sean.

Many guys just take a low-key approach to birthdays. Sometimes maybe a little too low.

Hillary: So how does it feel to be a year older?

Mark: I'm what?!

This can cause problems when a guy has a girlfriend, when three months from her birthday, a girl is already looking at him with that "what-are-you-going-to-do-for-me-on-my-birthday" look.

Well, I'm happy to say I already have Sally's birthday present. PLUS I'm loaded with food and fireworks for the Fourth of July picnic. I put the floss away.

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This article appeared in Brio & Beyond magazine in July 2007. Copyright © 2007 Patrick Dunn. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.