i dont know..i've felt like i'm dead or watchin my life go by but now able to do anything about it... its wierd n i'm sick of it :angry: i try to be happy n loud n just optimistic but i cant... i dont get it... i really want to be happy but i guess maybe life has difrent plans for me :unsure:

Okay, so, I know how you feel. Not too long ago, actually. One day I broke down crying in the shower. And there was only one thing that would come to mind: Psalms 42:1-11 (BBE) To the chief music-maker. Maschil. Of the sons of Korah. Like the desire of the roe for the water-streams, so is my soul's desire for you, O God. My soul is dry for need of God, the living God; when may I come and see the face of God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they keep saying to me, Where is your God? Let my soul be overflowing with grief when these things come back to my mind, how I went in company to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with the song of those who were keeping the feast. Why are you crushed down, O my soul? and why are you troubled in me? put your hope in God; for I will again give him praise who is my help and my God. My soul is crushed down in me, so I will keep you in mind; from the land of Jordan and of the Hermons, from the hill Mizar. Deep is sounding to deep at the noise of your waterfalls; all your waves have gone rolling over me. But the Lord will send his mercy in the daytime, and in the night his song will be with me, a prayer to the God of my life. I will say to God my Rock, Why have you let me go from your memory? why do I go in sorrow because of the attacks of my haters? The cruel words of my haters are like a crushing of my bones; when they say to me every day, Where is your God? Why are you crushed down, O my soul? and why are you troubled in me? put your hope in God; for I will again give him praise who is my help and my God. I know it might look long, but read through it. David was telling his very soul to rise up, because his hope was in God. Really, there is never a good reason to have self-pity. Our hope is in God and God alone. It may sound corny or cliche, but think about it. It is the truth.

ok yeah..i'll read it sometime thanks.. its wierd..i've turned myself into an emotionless person...(longg story) but i cant even cry anymore.

[b]areanne wrote:[/b] [quote]ok yeah..i'll read it sometime thanks.. its wierd..i've turned myself into an emotionless person...(longg story) but i cant even cry anymore.[/quote] Been there. But don't try to be emotionless because you've been bitten by life. All it does is hurt worse. Trust me. I would like to encourage you to really read your Bible. Tell God what's up. He likes His children to have some communication time with Him :) and let me tell ya, does He ever like to talk with you! You are a very special person to Him, and He loves ya just the way you are. If you want, we could talk 'bout it a little bit :) kwhiting@gbpackersfan.com

hmm yeah..i'll try..:)

hmm yeah..i'll try..:)

[b]areanne wrote:[/b] [quote]i dont know..i've felt like i'm dead or watchin my life go by but now able to do anything about it... its wierd n i'm sick of it :angry: i try to be happy n loud n just optimistic but i cant... i dont get it... i really want to be happy but i guess maybe life has difrent plans for me :unsure:[/quote] Its obvious that it seems that your depressed in a way. The next step to understanding it is asking where these feelings are coming from. You'll probably say in reply to that they come from yourself, but in truth they come from another source. Your mind is a battlefield as well and you need to sharpen and refine it into Christ's image. Otherwise the enemy has entrance to not only your mind but your heart and can set up a stronghold there. Whether your it actions and things that come at you in life that get you down or otherwise. Review what is going on and ask God for help in it. Your anger seems to be towards life and that has led you to feel down. Seek the source of the problem and cut it off whether it be in mind or in the world. -Dimitri

but what kind of source would u mean??

Above you said you feel dead to your life and you feel that you have no control of what happens. The having less control part is true but its not the full truth. If you feel that you don't have much control of your life then something has taken it away from you {I.E. The enemy (Satan)}. In your last statement you say that "life may have other plans for you." Obviously you feel that life isn't going in the direction you wish it would go. Either thats on purpose from God so that He can teach you something or its of a demonic nature trying to pin you down and make you feel worthless. Either way it has a source and you need to pray about it. There is a reason why these things are going on and you need to figure it out with prayer. Nothing happens without reason. So the reason is the key to the solution. If you feel mentally and spiritually weak for no reason that you notice then you need to ask God whats going on. Did that make more sense?